Today I was walking on the side of the street. I heard someone whistle at me and I fe...

Today I was walking on the side of the street. I heard someone whistle at me and I felt really flattered. It wasn't until I heard the noise again when I noticed the "whistling" was coming from a bird. I still felt really flattered.

Today, at my school, we had to take our final exams. I walked into the classroom and sat down at my desk, mentally preparing myself for the test. Just then, someone shut off the lights, and I look up to see Finding Nemo playing on the wall screen. As we all sat back to watch, my teacher handed out bags of popcorn to the whole class. New favorite teacher? Heck yes.

Today, right after I had proposed to my girlfriend, (to which she said yes! :D), this man who must have been about 60, walks up, gives me a high-five and whispers in my ear, "Dude, you're so in there."

Today I was in an awkward situation, and needed a moment. I chewed it over with Twix.

Today when I was on the school bus, we were coming to a round-about. My bus driver went around it 3 times as we all cheered her on. I have a new respect for her.

Yesterday, I was on my treadmill when I started listening to my iPod. I didn't notice that the volume was all the way up. It was so loud when the song started that it startled me and I tripped. Now I have burns and scratches all over my face and arms. I'm going to tell everyone at school I was atttacked by puppets.

Today, my professor misspelled the word "misspell." I was the only one that noticed.

In Pennsylvania it is illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors. There goes my hopes and dreams.

Today, while walking to class, I noticed a "Wet Paint" sign on the wall, so, naturall...

Today, while walking to class, I noticed a "Wet Paint" sign on the wall, so, naturally, I touched it. When I got to class, I noticed six other people, including the professor, had beige paint smudges on their hands. We're in an Honours Biology course.

I recently put a bumper sticker on my car that stated that i support gay marriage. Today, i was driving to work and noticed a car started following me and followed me for over 10 miles. I started getting creeped and thought i would stop at a populated gas station and wait for them to leave. After i pulled in the gas station i no longer saw the car so i thought id get some coffee and calm down. When i came back out to my car i was kamakaze-hugged by two very flambouyant men dressed in rainbow. They loved my bumper sticker and really wanted to hug me for it.

Today, I was sitting in my grandmother's livingroom, crocheting a blanket for my room. I look over to see my grandma on her facebook. I feel that somewhere along the lines, the tables have turned.

Today, my mom decided to take away my ipod touch because she thought I was spending to much time listening to music and playing games. I then took out my CD player and gameboy.

Today, while eating lunch with my family, my brother curled his tongue and used it to drink his milk. I said it's like a poratble straw. It wasn't until my sister pointed out that all straws are portable that I realized what I'd said.

Today is Justin Bieber's birthday. Today is also Ron Weasley's birthday. I think we all know who wins here...

I saw a banana peel in the middle of the road today. For about two seconds, I seriously considered making a Mario Cart swerve just to avoid it.

Today my friend asked to borrow my phone to make a call. I gave it to her. A minute later I started to frantically search for my phone around the room. I decided to interrupt her conversation to ask where it was. She handed my phone back to me.

Today, I bought some Silly Putty. I haven't done so for a couple years, so I looked at the package for a while and read the warnings. It said to be careful because Silly Putty can stick to clothes and hair, and under that it said that Silly Putty should not be used as ear plugs. I wonder how many idiots have tried that before they had to put it on the warning label.

Yesterday at work (I'm a cashier) some guys total came to $6.66. I was kind of amazed when I told him what he owed. But the guy freaked out and grabbed some candy, saying he couldn't buy anything with 'that number' on it. So his final total was $7.49, which was not very amazing.

Today my three year old sister learned that cats do NOT like being baptized with the ...

Today my three year old sister learned that cats do NOT like being baptized with the Garden hose.

Today my friend and I were driving to the mall. My friend got really excited because she saw a hott guy pass by so I sped up to take a look. As we stopped at a stop light, I rolled down the window and said, "Dinner's at 7." to which he replied "Okay, are you playing?" I replied, "Only if I can bring a friend." My friend will never know that this "hott guy" was my older btoher and that tonight is family game night.

A while ago, I had a life skills class at school, and we were talking about the difference between things we want and things we need. When my teacher asked what an example of something you want but don't need, thinking of people buying expensive designer clothes instead of less expensive non-designer clothes, I said "clothes". There was an awkward silence.

Today, I changed my mouse curser to a dinosaur. My little brother suggested I change my back ground to the Tokyo skyline. We've spent the past 5 minutes making dinosaur noises and making him stomp around Tokyo.

I have a boys' name. I went to a new doctor one day and the first thing he says to me is, "You're a girl!" Thank you, Captain Obvious, I didn't notice.

Today, I was making fun of my two friends, one for being Irish, and one for being an Italian. Then they were so kind as to remind me that I'm Irish, Italian, and blonde.

Today at church, my friend and I opened up our books to the first song. The song was obsessing over God's undefying love and the good in his ways. It was on page 666. The only people who found this funny were me, my friend, and the 80-year-old pastor.

Today, my friend, who was trying to impersonate Squidward, hollered, "I HAVE TESTICLES!" It took her a minute to figure out why I was on the floor laughing.

A few weeks ago, i read an

Today I read an

Today I went to a kiosk and asked for a coke, the cashier then asked me if pepsi was ...

Today I went to a kiosk and asked for a coke, the cashier then asked me if pepsi was okay, remembering a group I had recently join on Facebook I responed with "Is monopoly money okay?" the cashier thought for a minute walked away and came back a couple of minutes later holding a coke. New friend? I think so.

Today, I was going to post another story, but I saw the "coded message" you have to type at the bottom of the screen said "hotcake THAT". That is officially my new favorite saying.

Today, one of my friends tried to convince me that gullible wasn't in the dictionary. Even though I wasn't falling for it, I took out a dictionary and looked. I then exclaimed "Oh my gosh isn't!" he said "Really?!" It was. Ah the irony.

Today i realized i had the coolest back pack in the school. It has a dinosaur hood. In middle school i would've been shunned for this, but in High school, i'm offically the coolest person on campus.

Today, I noticed there was braile on the buttons on the drive-thru ATM. It's good to know that if a blind person ever needed to withdraw money while driving, he wouldn't have a hard time reading the machine.

Today, I was standing in my bathroom. For some reason I had a lighter in my hand. I saw my Q-tips and had a great idea. I lit the cotton on both ends of fire, and pretended like I was a flaming baton spinner in the circus.

One day I overheard my 11 year old brother talking with his friend about a website she had found one time and wanted to show him. She said, "I can't remember what the name was, but I know it ended in 'dot com'..."

Today in psychology class we took a personality quiz where we had to draw pictures in blank boxes. According to the test, my "main interest" is an epic pirate vs. ninja battle.

Today my sisters and I were playing Duck Hunt on the old Nintendo system. They kept doing really well and I couldn't hit any. So, joking, I asked them what their secret was. They both responded that they pretended to shoot people that they didn't like and they never missed. I took their advice and my next turn I pretended to shoot Miley Cyrus, Robert Pattinson and Barney. I never missed.

Today, I rented the film D�j� vu. Ten minutes in the movie it skipped and went back to the beginning. Thinking this was part of the 'D�j� vu' effect, I kept watching. After five repeats, I was kind of suspicious and took the dvd out, only to realize it was scratched. Ironic, isn't it?

Today, after watching Apolo Ohno get disqualified in the olympic speed skating, I yel...

Today, after watching Apolo Ohno get disqualified in the olympic speed skating, I yelled OH NO Ohno! Then laughed at the irony.

Today, my friends and I sat in the listening booth of our favorite music store, which has two glass walls facing out onto the street. We were waving at passers-by and trying to get them to wave back, when the owner of the music store suggested we write signs to attract their attention. Sign #1 (I'm made of wax - what are you made of?" gained a phone number, while Sign #2 (Is your name Larry???) gained an actual Larry. Saturday well spent; we're planning on doing the same thing tomorrow. But with cookies.

Today, I learned that my 3 year old sister is extremely afraid of tacos.

Today, I bought a pack of socks. I was zoned out and looking at the pack. It was resealable, with a ziplock. It was then that I asked myself, "Why would I need to put them back inside?"

I work at a daycare, and the other day two little boys I was taking care of lead me into the bathroom and closed the door. Thinking we were playing a game, I allowed this. I then heard scraping and grunting noises. Curious, I tried to open the bathroom door, but to no avail. Turns out the kids were busy dragging every object in front of the door to baracade me in.

Today, I was reading a book on evolutionary psychology. According to some studies that have been done on what traits are found attractive, average faces are considered the most attractive. It's good to be average.

Today, I discovered the scariest thing ever, the feeling of going to far in a rocking chair.

Today, during band class my director was yelling at the trombone section, he wanted them to play louder, he said "When you come up to a six foot pole, you don't just blow it, you blow it HARD!" he was the first to laugh.

I read an

Today I read an Today, I was in Publix ordering a delicious sub. While the worker w...

Today I read an

Today, I was in Publix ordering a delicious sub. While the worker was preparing it, I glanced around me and saw packaged hard-boiled eggs. I looked closer at them and saw the allergen information on them. "Warning: contains eggs." At least they were being thorough.

Today, my 12-year-old brother checked out an informational book titled "Marijuana" from his school library. As he was walking back to class he made sure to inform all the staff and students that he had found "Marijuana" in the library. I wish I would have been there to see their faces.

Today, I was in math class and i was complaining to my teacher about how I skipped breakfast and I was super hungry. Just as the period ended she came up to me and told me she didn't have a class next period and asked if i wanted to go to the McDonalds a few miles from school. I skipped school with my math teacher. New favorite teacher? I think so!

Today, I said the name "Voldemort," and my cousin freaked out and told my never to say the name of the one who "shall not be named." She's 20.

Today, after reading an

Today, I woke up with the flu, I told my boyfriend that I didn't want him to see me looking like death. He came over 15 minutes later, with the Lion King, checkers, otter pops and Harry Potter 7. Best.Boyfriend.Ever.

I live in a co-ed housing dorm (girls on odd # floors, boys on even) over the weekend my friends and i from the fourth floor successfully planned and executed a hostile take over the girls 5th floor lounge. Essentially we built a giant blanket fort using all of our bedsheets that encompassed their entire lounge and posted "NO GIRLS ALLOWED" signs. I love college!

Today was my last day of finals in college, my roommates discovered my boyfriend and I, in a fort made out of furniture and blankets. Watching Finding Nemo, and reading Harry Potter out loud, voices and all.

Today, I was walking through the music hall of the local college. I was looking at upcoming concerts on the bulletin boards, and on each board noticed there were Disney Princess coloring pages. Each page had been colored in and had been signed by one of the boys in instrumental music.

Today, I mistook a glue stick for my chap stick. Today i am home sick from school. ...

Today, I mistook a glue stick for my chap stick.

Today i am home sick from school. My friend's phone accidentally called me from orchestra, and I spent 30 minutes listening to his conversations and the music playing. After a while I started screaming out his name, but he didn't hear me. Seizing the opportunity, I blasted the karaoke track of Bohemian Rhapsody and sang it into the phone, full on, while adding sound effects. Halfway through I heard his voice. "WHY THE HELL IS MY POCKET SINGING?!?"

Today, I went to assembly at my school there was a huge sign above the door that read "WARNING: Cheerleaders". I'm glad to know that my school is looking out for the student body.

Today, my teacher came back from trying out for American Idol. (I know it sounds fake, but he actually did.) They didn't show his on television, so everyone was asking him questions about if he got in or not. He finally told the class, "Remember, curiousity killed the cat." But then this kid goes, "Yes, but Simon Cowel killed your self esteem." His face was priceless.

Today, my campus began our game of Humans vs Zombies, basically a large game of tag. I've survived the invasion for Day 1.

Today, I went to celebrate my grandma's birthday. She is very senile but she loves movies so I took her to "Blind Side" knowing she wouldn't actually care what the movie was about. A line was "Instinct". In reply, she shouted, "NO YOU STINK!" When the theatre turned around to shush her, she yelled, "Oh shut the hell up, assholes." I think I'll go to the movies with my grandma more often.

Today I found out that ants cannot shut their eyes. After sharing this information with my girlfriend she tells me "but they close their eyes in a bug's life!" I knew there was a reason I loved her.

Today i saw someone write PROM?! on a piece of paper and tape it to a locker. I decided that no one would say yes to someone who didn't spend the effort in coloring it so i went and got my twist able crayola crayons and colored it. I feel like i made someones day :)

Once in high school, my English teacher was giving us a lecture and asked us what would happen if all the Asian people in the world disappeared. A girl at the front of the class gasped and exclaimed, "Then there wouldn't be anyone to do our nails!" My teacher looked at me and asked in perfect Cantonese if she should get an F. I said yes. Never before has being Asian felt so powerful.

Today, I was in my bedroom when I heard someone knock on my door. When I opened the d...

Today, I was in my bedroom when I heard someone knock on my door. When I opened the door no one was there except for a Lego Storm Trooper staring at me from across the hallway. I'm worried.

Even though my dad is a dentist, I am somewhat lazy when it comes to brushing my teeth. Today as I was brushing my teeth with my electric toothbrush I wanted to see if I could a actually last the two minutes recommended, so sang random songs in my head until the two minutes was up. When I checked the timer on the toothbrush at the end I saw that it displayed a smiley face next to the time. I had no idea that my toothbrush could do that and now I am completely excited to brush my teeth for at least two minutes again. I shouldn't be this excited, I am an 18 year old college student.

Today, I was in the bathroom of a movie theatre. On the door, there was a sign that read, "shoplifters will be prosecuted". This made me wonder what one could possibly shoplift in a movie-theatre bathroom.

Today my mom told me about how she locked her keys inside our second-floor apartment. The manager wasn't home to let her in, and she didn't want to break down the door, so she scaled the building and went in through our slider. I take pride in knowing that my mom's a ninja.

the other day, i was the schools library during my lunch period. I walked over to a table and sat down. In the middle of the table was a folded up piece of paper. Curious, I opened it and it said "I hope you have a better day!" with a little smiley face. I smiled and put the paper in my pocket. I tore a piece of paper out of my note book and wrote "i hope your day is x10 amazing as yesterday!" and drew a smiley face. I folded it up and placed it in the middle of the table. The next day I went back to the same table and found a piece of paper in the middle. I quickly opened it and on it, it said "Thank you so much!" with two stick figures hugging. I think i made a difference.

Last month, I went to a baseball game. During half time, they were zooming the camera in on different people. One group had a huge sign that said "Snape kills dumbledore." Made my week.

Todday, I was at subway and ordered a BLT. The guy working promptly asked me if I'd like my bacon cooked.

Today, I realised that even if I'm home alone i still giggle quietly while reading

Yesterday i bought a swiffer. My old mop did not bring me flowers and sing baby come back.

Today, I was checking the time using my mobile phone. I had to do it twice because I got distracted the first time.

My mom babysits this adorable baby girl. She's gotten to the age where she will r...

My mom babysits this adorable baby girl. She's gotten to the age where she will repeat anything you tell her to. She can now say pirate, ninga, rawr, and nom. I feel these words will really help her in life.

Today, the news was on and I heard something. I am proud to say the Yahoo Vs. Google war is over. Why? Yahoo sold its search engine to Google.So I think Google has won.

I'm so sick of google vs. yahoo, and pirates vs. ninjas. Yesterday at the bookstore, I saw a book that pitted Cookie Monster and Pac Man against each other. Now that's more like it.

Today my english teacher said she'd give a cookie to anyone who knew all the words to the song 'Can you feel the love tonight'. Needless to say she owes me a cookie.

I am a soldier in the Canadian Armed Forces, (currently on leave) and I would just like to acknowledge

The other day I was on the subway. This really hardcore looking guy sat next to me. His iPod was blasting, and, at first, he was listening to some metal song I had never heard. A Justin Beiber song came on next. It was hard to not laugh in his face.

Today I checked the refrigerator to make sure we had milk before I poured my cereal.

Today, I was heating up my drink in the microwave on the rotating plate - after it stopped, the cup's handle was facing away from me. I decided to heat 3 more seconds for easier access to my drink.

Today I got a letter from my pre-school teacher with candy, silly putty, and dinosaur stickers asking how my ninja training was going. Apparently when I was in her class I convinced all my friends that I was a ninja-in-training. I wish I was still that awesome.

Today, I spent literally 10 minutes trying to figure out the names of the shovel and pail off of Blues Clues.. Their names are shovel and pail.

This morning, i went down stairs and picked up the mail. There was the usual bills an...

This morning, i went down stairs and picked up the mail. There was the usual bills and stuff. There was also a mini box of cheerios. Thank you, Mr.postman.

For a while now, my friend has been commenting on how I needed new jeans because the ones I wear often were getting worn out in some places. Today, I wore the same jeans and she told me how much she liked them and asked if they were new.

Today, i decided to see if Ireland has any weird laws as well. If a lepracon comes to your door, you must by law give him your dinner. Those guys have it so easy.

Today, for spirit week, you could dress up as any mythical creature. My boyfriend planned on going as Waldo, but when he showed up to school he was in regular clothes. I asked why he didn't dress up, and he said he couldn't find his Waldo hat. Waldo strikes again, and apparently he's not a fan of identity theft.

Today while sitting in history class I noticed that my teacher's name is actually "Bill Clinton." When sharing my discovery with my classmate, she stated "Who was Bill Clinton?" We are both Seniors.

Today, I realized if you're in a large group of people that are clapping for someone, and you're the only one not clapping, it feels like they're all clapping for you. Greatest discovery ever.

Today I read an

Today, I took a quiz on a college website that is supposed to help you decide a major by giving suggestions. My result? Undecided.

Today I was over at my friends grandparent's house. We were talking about the Civil War when her grandpa came is and said "Yeah, I remeber crossing the Delaware with old George." That is when my friend said "Wrong war pappap."

A couple of weeks ago, we had a quiz. We had graded it last week then we gave it back...

A couple of weeks ago, we had a quiz. We had graded it last week then we gave it back to our teacher. When we graded it, I drew a smiley face on it. When I got it back today, the smiley face had an afro and a Dumbledore beard. I now love my Civics teacher.

Today, I was chatting with a friend on Facebook, and he tried and failed to make a winky face, and he said ";0". I pointed out that he had a funny-looking face, and he replied with "IT'S A BIRTH DEFECT YOU JERK!!!!!" I couldn't stop laughing.

Today, I was watching the Pairs Figure Skating on the Olympics, and I noticed that one of the pairs had the same last name (Zhang/Zhang). I thought it was awesome, and started wondering what the odds were that that could possibly happen. It took me the entire next day to realize that they were married.

Today, I joined a group on facebook titled, "If 1,000,000 people join, this group will have 1,000,000 people."

Today while I was looking up weird laws in Florida, I found this:If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. I'm not quite sure how this one was passed......

Today, I realized my cat will only eat his cat food if it retains its can-like shape.

Today me and my sister realized that we both eat the heads off first on animal crackers because we don't want them to suffer.

Today, I lost my phone. So like any logical person would do, I decided to call it. Confused as to why I received a busy signal. I looked down to make sure I typed the number in right. I did. I also did it on the phone I supposedly "lost". I proceded to apologize and hang up.

This morning I attempted to get out of my bed on the left side, rather than the right. The wall in the way made it rather difficult, but I spent a good 10 minutes trying.

Today after school, I was heading a meeting in the middle of the hallway. I told the...

Today after school, I was heading a meeting in the middle of the hallway. I told the kids that whenever a teacher passed by, I would say something random and they would applaud. As four faculty members passed by, 2 principals and 2 teachers, I screamed "And that is how you defend yourself against a bear!" The kids all clapped, and the teachers stood in awe as one principal bowed to me. I'm glad that my school appreciates wildlife survival.

Today, my neighbors put in clappers to control their lights. Do they respond to thunder clapping occassionally? Yes.

Today, my mom told me that when i was christened my dad held me up like simba to the crowd.

Today, after watching youtube videos I plugged my iPod into my car's stereo system and drove around my neighborhood. I saw that I was coming up on some little kids and decided to use my iGun app for a "drive by". The children, playing along, fell to the ground and pretended to be dying. Now everytime I pass their house I have my iGun ready. Children or not, zombies are zombies.

Today, I almost attempted to change the channel on my computer.

Yesterday, while I was on

Yesterday I saw a banana peel on the sidewalk and almost immediately though of Super Mario Kart. Thank you God, for letting me be born in the 90s.

As I was in the car with my dad "Tik-Tok" came on. I was singing along to the part where it says "but we kick 'em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger". My dad is a little on the quiet side while driving, but says out of the corner of his mouth "Mick Jagger is like REALLY ugly".

Today I visited a college. It was snowing out, so on break between classes, I bought this awesome wolf hat and then proceeded to wear it on the walk to my next class. When I got there, the professor jumped up and shouted "DUDE!" He then pulled out the same hat from his bag and wore it with me for the rest of class. I am now positive this is the school for me.

Today, i went to an introduction for engineering at a university. We spent the day building lego towers and bridges as well as eating ice cream frozen with liquid nitrogen. I'm glad to see that universities really understand what teenagers really like.

Today, i went to the mall and went to a photobooth with a friend. When we came out an...

Today, i went to the mall and went to a photobooth with a friend. When we came out and went to grab our pictures, we saw that someone else left theirs behind. they were pictures of darth vader.

Today, I asked my mom if I could see a PG-13 movie. She answered, "No. You're only 15, which is not old enough to see a PG-13 movie." I'm nearly 16. This confirms my belief that she still thinks I'm 12.

Today, my mom started yelling at me to get out of bed, wanting to sleep more I said "I have a two hour delay this morning" (it was snowing like crazy out). My mom said ok and left me alone. I am homeschooled. She didnt realize what she had done until my brother and I were laughing about it later today.

Today, the shoes that I ordered from online came in. On the outside of the box it said, "Keep Refrigerated." Do my shoes really need to stay fresh?

Today, somebody called my house trying to sell something. I picked up the phone and started singing Bad Romance. The line went dead. I win.

Today I decided that for Lent I will give up reading

Today, I read an

A few weeks ago, a guy I know broke up with his girlfriend of about a year. Yesterday he posted a status update on Facebook saying, "it just keeps getting harder and harder." I knew he was referring to the breakup, but I couldn't resist commenting with "that's what she said." This morning, I got a notification saying he replied to my comment. He asked for my phone number.

Today I was at a stop light. There was a yellow car in front of me. I thought this wa...

Today I was at a stop light. There was a yellow car in front of me. I thought this was an odd color, but then saw that it had a picture of Dorothy, the Scarecrow, The Cowardly Lion and the Tin Man in the rear window. Then I noticed the licence plate said "yllw brik rd". I desperately wanted to follow it.

Today I was playing a game online and it asked me to choose a language. Included in my choices were American, Canadian, Australian, and English. I find this intriguing.

Today, on my first day at my ski resort, I saw a ten person nerf war through the halls, and two people hopping around in bunny suits. This is going to be a good vacation.

Today me and my friend were sitting in the car when a song I like came on radio. I turned it all the way and started dancing. My friend was embarrased and tried to get me to stop when I looked over and saw a guy on a motorcycle sitting there laughing. I rolled down the window and said hey and he said that if he had a friend like me he wouldn't be hiding. He then drove away. Thanks Motorcycle guy for making my friend support me when I feel like being childish.

Today I Realized The Word "WEIRD" Doesn't Follow The "I" Before "E" Rule. Weird.

I always wear UGGS and I always slide my phone into the tiny gap between the inside of my boot and my leg. Today I was just running around and my leg started vibrating. Not remembering my phone was in my boot, I thought that my leg was having some sort of reaction. So I started shaking my whole body to get help. A guy came and started shaking with me. He told me he thought I was dancing.

I fell asleep today at around 7:22. I wake up about 5 minutes later to find a blanket on me, a pillow under my head, and my 4 year old brother singing me a lullabye. Needless to say what lullabye it was but i'll say it anyway. "I Gotta Feeling." He sang the whole song. I didn't feel like stopping him.

Today, I left a tip for a waitress in monopoly money. It was $50,000. Underneath a napkin on the table was the real tip. I watched from outside the restaurant as she cleared the table. She was more excited about the monopoly money. Next time, she gets $100,000.

Today, I was at the mall with my friends. The mall was closing earlier than usual, so we were waiting outside for our ride to come get us. While we were waiting, I saw a car that looked just like my mom's car, so I ran up to it screaming 'NO!! MOM! DON'T LEAVE ME!! I PROMISE I'LL BE GOOD!!' Turns out, that wasn't my mom's car, but my friends were entertained.

The other day I couldn't think of an answer to one of the questions on my biology test so I decided to doodle while I think. In my sparkly green pen I drew an unicorn in a field standing next to a tree with a smiley face sun floating above. When I received the test back, I was checking over it when I noticed something. My teacher had drawn a turtle standing next to my unicorn. This is why biology class is my favorite.

I was at Costco yesterday when I saw a little girl about 5 years old following her mo...

I was at Costco yesterday when I saw a little girl about 5 years old following her mom. Just as I passed her, the little girl threw her arms in the air and said with great conviction "This is preposterous!!"

Today I saw a post about someone trying to go to mylifeistwilight.com and their computer wouldn't load the page. Being a curious person I tried to go to the site as well. My virus protection covered the page with a huge pop-up warning me that "This site has a poor reputation." I agree.

Today is Valentines Day. I have a running bet with my friend that this story will not be posted until sometime in April... let the counting commence!

Today I was putting my books in my locker when I overheard two 'gansta' looking guys behind me talking about how dry their hands where. One of them asked for hand lotion to which the other replied 'Apple cinnamon or mixed berry?'

Today I ate a salad without using my hands to see what it felt like to be a dinosaur.

Today I saw a homeless person holding a sign that said "NEED MONEY FOR WEED." At least he's honest.

This morning I woke up to found my blankets perfectly neat all around me, exactly the way they were when I went to sleep. I looked next to me to find my bedsheets on the floor. I am still confused.

Today, I was reading a play from the 18th Century, and it talked about Drury Lane. In the footnotes, it said Drury Lane was notorious for its number of prostitutes. I'm on to you, Muffin Man.

Today, I ran into an automatic door.

Today, i was with my boyfriend when i developed the hiccups. My hiccups are generally quite loud and annoying and my boyfriend tried his hardest to scare me and pull funny faces. After 5 minutes of constant hiccups, he screamed "I'M PREGNANT!!", causing everyone in the shop to turn round. Worked like a charm.

Today I found out that smiles are listed as one of the ingredients on Goldish. New fa...

Today I found out that smiles are listed as one of the ingredients on Goldish. New favorite snack? I think so.

Today I was reading a book and was surprised to see a fatal spelling error. The main character's name, Bobby, had been misspelt to Booby. I have lost all respect for that man.

Today, I heard a joke. "All the bad spellers in the world untie!" I told my friends, they didn't get it. Even after I explained it.

Ten years ago, I won two goldfish from a carnival. They're still alive.

Today was the first time I've ever heard about Waldo, I had to google him to find out who he is. Waldo has successfully hidden from me for 15 years...well done Waldo, well done.

Today, my friend made gingerbread cookies. When I opened the Tupperware I noticed that all the legs had fallen off of them. When I asked her how she dropped the box and broke all of them, she looked at me and said,"I ripped them all off so they wouldn't run away." Makes sense.

Last summer, I went to Disney Land with my family. In one of the attractions, we ran into my second grade teacher. What was the attraction, you may ask? "Its a small world after all"

About a week ago, a teacher at my school broke the world record for most hugs in an hour, the record was 756, it is now 1,733.

Today,I realized that my upstairs phone rings quicker then all the other phones downstairs,I can just faintly hear it, and my family can't, so i just shout phone whenever i hear it before it rings downstairs, now my faimly thinks im Psychic.

Today, I saw a picture of my 10 year old cousin from last Halloween. His friends were dressed as a pirate and a princess. He was dressed as a vending machine.